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Peer #1
 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || This lit review is very readable. It could be easier to follow if there were headings and subheadings. ||
 * 4.5 || I think this is well written ||
 * 3 || In APA format you don’t have to include page numbers in the in-text citation unless you are quoting something. Also, there are some quotes that do not have the page number included in the in-text citation even though they should. ||
 * 5 || This writing makes sense. There weren’t any areas that I had to reread. ||
 * 5 || I can see how the information in this lit review could be used in a work shop. I would expect to see certain tasks for children to complete to increase self efficacy and self esteem. There could also be collaborative exercises where children work together. You also mentioned that career activities at this age should be fun so I know there will probably be a fun aspect to your workshop. ||
 * 5 || I think this writing is at the synthesis level and probably does not need to go any further. If you wanted to take to the evaluation level then you can analyze the articles and critique them based on their strengths and weaknesses or talk about the quality of the articles. ||


 * **Score** || **Comments** ||
 * **3** || **It would be helpful to add headings to break up the review. It was difficult to tell where one topic ended and another began.** ||
 * **4.5** || **The main points of the articles are well stated, but I felt that the paragraphs could use a few extra sentences to summarize the main ideas presented.** ||
 * **4** || **Page numbers are not needed if you are not using a direct quote. Also, references should be indented after the first line. Other than that, the citations look good.** ||
 * **4.** || **What was written made sense, but it was difficult to read due to the lack of visual organization.** ||
 * **5.** || **After reading the review, it was not clear to me what types of objectives or interventions might be seen in the workshop. Perhaps you could add another paragraph that would describe this.** ||
 * **6.** || **I would classify this review in the synthesis level. I did not see clear distinctions between quality of sources. To move to the evaluation level, present the opposing point of view, discuss source quality, and perhaps clarify the themes.** ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || I like the statistics provided in the opening paragraph of the lit review because I think it grabs the reader’s attention. I do feel like those particular statistics would be more helpful to include if you were writing about a different age group, possibly an older age group. I think including statistics aimed directly at elementary school children might work better here. I also think the opening would appear stronger if you included more information on the direct age group in which you will be describing in the review instead of cramming it all into the last sentence. Possibly another transition sentence would be helpful here. ||
 * 5 || Overall, I think the style of writing was good. I think a few commas here and there would make some of the sentences flow easier for the reader. I really like the conclusion and think you did a great job of summarizing the article into a concise sentence. Also, the lit review is jam-packed with information, which I think is good, rather than having fluff where it is not needed. ||
 * 4 || I think more specific quotes could be used, rather than the one quote by Harkin which could be easily paraphrased. ||
 * || The only area that I think needs work is the opening paragraph. I like how you provided different examples of ways that are effective to implement the goals, such as fieldtrips and dramatic play. Could you possibly expand on this, or find more ways? ||
 * || When reading this it is clear to me how the information may be configured to create a workshop. Some possible interventions I would expect to see in the workshop may be visiting different career sites, ways in which dramatic play could be used, and the use of learning stations. I think it would be fun to use the idea of different learning stations as the part of your workshop you present to the class. ||
 * || I would classify the literature review under the synthesis stage. I think at the end of each major theme presented, there could be more of a discussion presented on the major themes presented in the articles. I think you did a good job of organizing your paper thematically, rather than by source articles. ||

Reviewer 3 Also, page numbers are added to in-text citations only when you quote directly from a source. You may want to check that one too out. Also, you may want to check your references and note when to italicized and when not to. ||
 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || It’s a good thing you pulled information from different theorists to substantial your points. However, some of the in-text citation did not follow the APA format and you may want to check that out. For example, **McIntosh notes that this quality, in part, can take root in a child’s life as they acquire skills in self-expression, and gain competence (2000, p. 623) should have been McIntosh (2000)………………(p. 623) **
 * 4 || You ended your introduction with a focus of the review which also served as an outline for how the review was organized. You stick to this organization throughout and that was a good thing. The transitions were smooth. However, it would have been better and more academic if you had introduced headings. ||
 * 3 || The information presented in the review will serve as a good guideline for anyone who wants to develop a workshop for elementary school students. It identifies various competencies that workshop organizers can target the workshop to. However, more can be done in terms provide specific examples of activities that can be used to help students develop these competences ||
 * 4 || I will classify this review under the synthesis level of Bloom’s taxonomy. You were able to locate resources and information as well as organized them thematically. However, you seemed selective in the articles you selected and they all seem to be in favor of why career education at elementary school level is necessary and why a particular intervention can be applicable when given career education. However you could have spiced it with other articles that speak against what you stand for and this would have given you the opportunity to evaluate your opinion as well as add your own voice as to why you took the stance you took in favor of a particular intervention. ||
 * 5 || You review was readable and easy to follow. Good job ||

Score || Comment ||
 * Reviewer #4
 * 3 || I find your literature review overall easy to read, but I found that some of your paragraphs were extremely long and drawn out. For example, paragraph 3. Too much all in one paragraph ||
 * 3 || In many sentences you start off with words or phrases then a comma. For example, likewise, finally, now, however, in short, similarly, further. I personally feel like some of them can be removed. Some of them seem to be meaningless in areas of the paper. ||
 * 5 || I thought that you did a great job following APA standards and guidelines. Your citations were consistent throughout. ||
 * || 4. As I mentioned above, paragraph 3 was tough to read for me. Your transitions were very well done throughout the paper. ||
 * || 5. It is clear to me what information will be included in this workshop. I think I would expect to see an interesting fun activity that primarily focuses on the students learning about stereotyping, and why it is important for them not to stereotype. ||
 * || 6. ||


 * **Score** || **Comments** ||
 * 4 || I thought the review progressed nicely from broad ideas to narrow interventions – from the need for elementary career development to tools that can be used in that setting. While there were no headings, I found the review to be very readable and easy to follow because the transitions were smooth. ||
 * 5 || Adhered well to graduate level writing standards. I didn’t notice any grammar, spelling or sentence mechanics errors. ||
 * 4 || Good use of quotations and summaries. APA standards upheld. No headings used. ||
 * || 4. I couldn’t find any areas that I didn’t understand. ||
 * || 5. I assume that your workshop will address the issues of “building and breaking”, as discussed in your review. ||
 * || 6. I think that you have reached Synthesis, but just need to consider adding some headings to further prepare readers for transitions in themes as you move from one point to the next. Nice work on integrating articles and supporting your topic! ||

Reviewer 5
 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || I really didn’t know what age group this paper was speaking about until later in the paper. I felt as though the first statistic made me ready for a paper about older individuals. I really liked all of the data and felt as though the research was interesting however I was overwhelmed with the amount of citations. Title? ||
 * 4 || I believe that this paper was relatively clear and concise. I really enjoyed that most of the information was important however found that it could have flowed a little bit easier. This was definitely graduate work but some restructuring could make the final product clearer. ||
 * 2.5 || I’m a little concerned about all of the quotes. Many of these could really have been paraphrased and could have had a lot less of them jam-packed into this review. I also am wondering if the citations would meet APA standards. When pg numbers are offered shouldn’t there also be quotations, and if so there are a lot of direct quotations, some more original assumptions may be appropriate. ||
 * || I would like to see the introduction expanded upon. The first sentence is gripping but I would like to see some more of a setup for the rest of the paper. ||
 * || I could see how this review provided information that would be used in a career workshop. I assume that the goal of the workshop will be to break the mold of what children have been fed to believe. I think some professionals who do that like a male nurse or other examples may help to prove the point that career is individual rather than group. I also assume that there will be some tangible items (magnifying glass etc.) which the review states helps to engage students in the tasks of discovering new jobs. I also expect to see some stations or centers. ||
 * || I would place this in the Analysis stage of Bloom’s taxonomy. While I really like the topic and think it was presented well I find that a lot of the data presented was regurgitated citations from the literature and would have liked to see some more ownership of the paper by the authors. || Score || Comments ||
 * 4 || I thought this was fairly easy to read. The transitions could have been slightly clearer. It was hard to tell when you were ending with something and starting with something new. Headings or clear transition sentences would be helpful ||
 * 4 || Pretty good job with the mechanics and such. There are few sentences where commas are misplaced or missing completely. I didn’t see any spelling mistakes. ||
 * 4 || You started off well with not relying on direct quotes, but I noticed towards the end of the paper there were more direct quotes used. Headings may have been helpful in understanding the direction of your paper ||
 * || I do not understand what you are trying to say here: “In summary, two primary concepts, building and breaking, encapsulate the goals of career education for elementary school children.” It could be reworded for better, clear understanding. ||
 * || Yes, I can see that some goals that may form from this lit review would include having counselors integrate creative activities for elementary students to do that focus on career development; also, having the student recognize and evaluate the careers of his/her care giver. ||
 * || Analysis-Synthesis: Over all, you identified themes and patterns within the sources and applied it to you paper as an integrated whole. There could be more focus on the overall themes towards the end of the paper. ||  ||


 * **Score** || **Comments** ||
 * **3.5** || **The intro was very helpful in understanding what I was going to be reading. There could have been more clear transitions. After the intro, it was kind of confusing as to what I was reading about next. I wasn’t sure when one topic ended and another. I would format it a little more structured.** ||
 * **4.5** || **I think you guys did a fine job in this area.** ||
 * **2** || **Way to many indirect citations (which need quotes around if have the page number) Should only have one maybe two in whole paper to show that you can cite properly, but all other information should be put into your own words and cited, but not directly quoted. Really need to take a closer look at your citations and APA style** ||
 * **4.** || **It was really distracting with all of the references. It made me have to reread several of the sentences because they were so long, but other than that I think your sentence structure was good.** ||
 * **5.** || **The interventions at the bottom are well detailed. I think that I can expect to see some of them in the workshop. It is good to see that you are incorporating ideas such as making it fun because this is such a young age group. You could possibly expand on the information in the intervention section and not use quotes, but you own words.** ||
 * **6.** || **I think this is at the knowledge phase because of all of the direct quotes. It seems as though there wasn’t much of your own thoughts in this paper. While it is important to convey the research examined and cite the authors work, direct quotes should not be used throughout the entire paper. To move onto the next section you can read each article and then summarize the main ideas IN YOUR OWN WORDS before to help you write it.** ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || Nice purpose statement: //This literature review will consider the current trends in career development for elementary school students within the United States, by addressing the needs, goals and some specific approaches that may successfully involve students in the career process.// Nice transition, it was attention grabbing and served to introduce the first theme: //Many adults may balk at the idea of 6 and 7 year olds receiving information about career opportunities at such a young age// Please add headings and either spaced or indented paragraphs for clarity. ||
 * 3 || Please read and rework this sentence: //Worryingly, however, many students enter college with little idea of their goals, or the tools necessary to succeed in the ever changing job market (Wood & Kaszubowski, 2008).// Drop the “however” in this sentence: //Now, however, few families remain on farms, and the field of careers is far wider.// Also this sentence has grammatical errors and I’m not sure what it means: //The earlier those children begin to develop a framework for employment, the more time that this concept will be given the opportunity to mature in the child’s mind (Harkin, 2001, p. 170).// And this one (too many commas): //In summary, two primary concepts, building and breaking, encapsulate the goals of career education for elementary school children.// Use “in conclusion” instead of “in all” for this sentence: //In all, the elementary school years offer an invaluable window of opportunity for educators to provide students with career related information.// ||
 * 4 || Quotes need author, year, and page number but paraphrased citations only need the author and year, perhaps double check with APA. ||
 * 4. || Please see the sentences mentioned above in section 2. I also did not learn that this paper was going to discuss elementary school students until a few sentences after the opening remarks and the information on school debt and western society which threw me off. Perhaps you can begin with a remark about elementary ed and tie it into the other facts that you began with. ||
 * 5. || Nice example of a career counseling tool: //Education literature identifies other ways to engage students in dynamic, fun learning activities. By utilizing learning stations, “a centre [sic] where students have activities to gain mandatory or voluntary skills…to try to reach objectives through predetermined activities based on their levels,” children can explore at their own pace, and investigate a wide range of activities that they might not have considered otherwise (Ocak, 2010, p. 147).// These are also nice examples (very useful): //Some activities may include kinesthetic activities like acting, while others may involve drawing pictures or maps. Montessori education utilizes this learning station approach and often involves activities tailored to other learning styles, all in the attempt to invigorate children with a “flaming imagination” that will aid their learning process (McKenzie, 1995, p. 38).// ||
 * 6. || I would assess this lit review somewhere between analysis and synthesis. I could identify patterns and themes and some were integrated. ||

GREAT JOB SO FAR!!!!!! ||
 * **Score** || **Comments** ||
 * 5 || Excellent readability, narrative style seamlessly connected concepts to each other, I suppose that headings would be somewhat helpful to add ||
 * 5 || High level of writing displayed here, sentences were of appropriate length and complexity. However, be aware of word choice occasionally (example: I don’t believe “worringly” in the first paragraph is a word) ||
 * 4 || In reference section, it appears as if the formatting of the journal article entries is incorrect. For journal articles, the title should be in regular font and the journal title and volume should be italicized. ||
 * || 4. I did not have to reread any areas of this paper. ||
 * || 5. Goals of awareness of themselves and awareness of diversity of occupations, goal of breaking stereotypes; interventions of introducing realistic career paths through education? ||
 * || 6. Synthesis: The paper represents an integration of the ideas and is thematically outlined. I don’t quite know how to recommend reaching the Evaluation stage because it seems as if a critique of the articles’ validity is not warranted for this particular assignment.


 * **Scores** || **Comments** ||
 * 4 || I enjoyed reading this literature review. The transitions and flow through your paper was easy to follow and read. I could definitely get a sense for the overall theme that was emerging and possible workshop that could be created. My only suggestion is that the introduction does not grab the audience in the way you might want it to. At first I was confused as to which age group I was reading about. Maybe if there is a way to make a statement about life long career development starting in elementary school first and then going into the talk of how it affects you all the way up through college. Otherwise great job! ||
 * 5 || Excellent sentence structure, grammar, and spelling. This literature review was well written and it seemed like it had been edited well. ||
 * 4 || Your APA format was well done. Make sure you check the correct format for the references. There was some information that was italicized that shouldn’t have been and some that wasn’t and should have been. It may have just been a mix up while copy and pasting but it is something to look out for. ||
 * || 4. The only paragraph I reread was the introduction just to make sure I understood where the direction of the paper was going. If that gets fixed up a little bit I think that this paper will be excellent. ||
 * || 5. I was able to easily pick out the goals, objectives, and interventions. I found this literature review to have the best overview of research in regards to forming a larger workshop based on the information discovered. ||
 * || 6. I would put this literature review at synthesis. You were able to draw together ideas into a thorough research review and integrate all of your sources. In order to move up to the evaluation level I would recommend looking at some of the strengths and weaknesses of your articles. There may have been some reference to this but it doesn’t stick out to the reader. Think about what some of the limitations of this age group are. ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || I understood your broader point but it was a little “messy” in its presentation. Things seemed a bit choppy. Also, you almost lost me in the first paragraph… I thought I was to read about career development in the elementary age group, but didn’t feel that was made clear. Flow should be addressed. ||
 * 3.5 || Grammar and spelling is done well, but I feel that you could potentially develop your sentence structure to flow better. ||
 * 4 || In general, your APA format was good. Check your reference section.. you use a variety of formats. I believe your one for “Magnuson” was done correctly. ||
 * || I would’ve appreciated a better format to follow the flow. As I’ve stated earlier it just didn’t seem to flow. It felt like there was a lot of information being regurgitated but no synthesis ||
 * || It’s pretty clear what your goals and objectives may be for the workshop. Interventions are a bit broad. ||
 * || I would place this lit review on Granello’s level of Comprehension and application ||